The New Season of the Bachelorette Starts Tonight! So Who’s My Drool Worthy MCM?

The new season of the Bachelorette kicks off tonight!

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And while Rachel Lindsay is totally stunning and you miiiiight see me dabble in some posts about her and the show (I’M SORRY – you all know my guilty pleasure by now!) my shout out today is for newly single bachelor favorite… That’s right, drum roll, please… Mr. BEN HIGGINS. (Oof, you can already see why!)

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When Ben went on the show, it was hard not to fall for him. The now 29-year-old, just a baby when he first appeared on the Bachelorette, was everything a girl could want. Wait, what? Okay, I. Everything I could want. Tall, dark, handsome, sensitive… It was like looking into a mirror watching him reveal that his biggest worry when it comes to relationships: being unlovable. You’re not alone Mr. Higgins; you’re not alone. In all the hype did anyone ever get a chance to tell you that? C’mon Chris Harrison! Slackin’ at the mansion!

After giving it a go with the winner of his season, Lauren Bushnell, and continuing an all too cute reality T.V. show on ABC Family (now Freeform) (yes I watched that too… …) it seems like they’ve decided to call it quits. I haven’t read any details on the breakup – please my thing is reality television, not gossip rag mags. But if you’re interested in finding out the juicy gossip just hop onto our favorite best friend: GOOGLE.

In the meantime when the world is trying to decipher fact from fiction, who’s with me in voting Mr. Higgins back onto the show for the next season of the Bachelor? I know I’m not the only one. And if you do submit his name maybe you could include a ballot writing my name in as a contestant for his second season? Mk, that would be great, thanks. While Ben should hopefully see that his fear of being unlovable is farthest from the truth I’m still over here working on that lesson for myself. Aren’t we all.

By the by Ben, if you end up on the next season of Bachelors in Paradise or whatever the f*#! that show is called… oh goodness just don’t do it! Although… I wouldn’t mind seeing you on the beach in your bathing suit again… Ehhhh, there’s good and bad to everything.

My MCM to kick off the summer season – Ben, you’ve got my vote!

Bold. Boss. Beautiful.

Another Single Valentine’s Day? We’ve Come up with the Perfect Non-Valentine’s Night!

It must have been about 3-4 years ago that I was still getting over the great infatuation of my life. My guy friend was also single and ready to mingle, but we were getting down on ourselves that we weren’t able to live out this fantasy of what we had in mind for the perfect Valentine’s night.

Instead of feeding into our inner #emo ( I know, listening to TBS feels so good!) we decided to change our expectations of the night. Screw having dates! We were going to enjoy February 14th no matter what!

Turns out, readjusting our expectations turned out really well. We made three rules…  1. No sappy movies. 2. Nothing healthy or anything that makes you look attractive while you eat it. 3. No jeans. Whoa now, that sounded bad for a second. ;P

Commence your awesome single Valentine’s night!

We had a great time watching comedies (of course half of them included Vince Vaughn or Will Ferrell), binging on a large cheese pizza, heavy side of candy, and rocking our sweatpants hardcore.

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The best part about the non-Valentine’s night is that the possibilities are literally endless. It doesn’t have to be just two friends. Even more anti-Valentine’s is an entire party boycotting the entire thing… Believe me, we considered it.

No, I’m not some kind of love-hating monster. Yes, it would be nice to have a plus one on the “big days” where you know your family is going to ask you the inevitable question for anyone in their twenties,  “are you in a relationship?” But I’m not going to cry over what I don’t have… Not tonight anyway… Tonight, I’m choosing to celebrate with pizza, wine, and comedies. Wine-not?

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Key Takeaways:

The best way to celebrate the non-Valentine’s Day:

  1. Drive around town with your best friend screaming TBS lyrics with the windows down and the system up (shout out to my ladies – you know who you are!); we recommend CUTE without the E
  2. No sappy movies
  3. Eat pizza & drink wine
  4. ONLY WEAR SWEATS
  5. You probably shouldn’t shower or cry for extra indulgence haha EW!

Check out my Valentine’s Day MCM to go alongside your non-Valentine’s Day celebration.

Enjoy! =]

Bold. Boss. Beautiful. 

Who Earned My Valentine’s MCM?

“I’m so used to being used.
So I love when you call unexpected.
‘Cause I hate when the moment’s expected.
So I’ma care for you, you, you,
I’ma care for you, you, you, you, yeah
‘Cause girl you’re perfect.
You’re always worth it.
And you deserve it.
The way you work it.
‘Cause girl you earned it, yeah
Girl, you earned it.”
 
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After so many days feeling like we go unappreciated, leave it to The Weeknd to make me feel like I’ve earned an unexpected call (because expected moments can get boring if they’re all you have), like I’m perfect (in this imperfect, messy world), deserve it (when we don’t get what we deserve), and I’ve earned it (just by doing me).

A friend asked me what my favorite gift from a guy was? I said, “flowers.”

Something as small as unexpected flowers gives me the feeling that I’ve worked hard for and earned something special.

In honor of Valentine’s Day and the follow up to that Fifty Shades of Grey movie that comes out… soon… today’s MCM goes out to The Weeknd, for making me feel like I did earn it every time I listen to that song. Male or female, who can’t relate to these vibes?

Key Takeaways:

  1. Make your girl feel like she’s earned it

Bold. Boss. Beautiful.

Failures of “Liquid Courage” (The Junior Varsity Drunk Text)

I thought that I had kicked the habit of drunk texting back in my freshman year of college.

My not-so-boyfriend, but guy I was seeing was seeing at the time, was back in our hometown while I was supposed to be exploring the potentials of college life. (My version of that was moping about this high school boy who clearly wasn’t worth my time in the long run. Fuck… I guess I learned some important life lessons from that one?)

Drinking beer in our guy friend’s dorm was doomed to put testosterone on the mind. I took out my not-so-smart cell phone and started typing. He hadn’t responded to another text from earlier in the day. Being down on myself, I wrote what I intended to be an innocent text,

 “Do you like good girls or bad girls? You like bad girls don’t you?”

Reading it the way I had intended, the only embarrassment I felt was that I was legitimately a “good girl” and didn’t want to waste my time on a bad guy. Re-reading the text that night, and now – horrified with a palm up to my face, peeking through my fingers – it sounds like I had a different intention. I might as well have whipped out a red flag saying, “ONLY LOOKING FOR BAD BOYS.” Or, “HI, I’M A SLUT!”

After many a communication courses in college, and head shaking experience after head shaking experience, I can flat out tell you that most communication via cell phones = NO BUENO! Especially when it comes to dating. It’s hard enough to do when you’re sober, let alone Lindsay Lohan drunk. What the sender reads one way can be (and many times is) interpreted in an entirely different manner than the receiver.

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Luckily, or not-so-luckily, he never answered my text. But I was the one left mortified for two reasons. 1. I sounded like a hooker. 2. He never even answered to my hooker-like attempt!

Looking back, what a loser! Not responding to a hooker-ish text by one of the girls you were seeing?! What’s wrong with that image? … … But in all honesty, I was lucky that it didn’t turn into a mess bigger than that. In the long run, he was probably doing me a favor since he ditched out on me about two weeks later. #GHOSTED.

But lesson learned hunnies! It took one nauseating incident to realize that drunk texting was not for me. And I stood by that all throughout college and beyond. I’m currently six years out and held onto the promise that I would never initiate a drunk texting convo. Exceptions will be made for those who text you and are already drunk – looking for some love in a drunk text back, friends, or anyone who you aren’t currently dating or trying to date.

One promise to myself – no drunk texting… That’s easy. But add today’s social media trends in there and it’s a whole different ball game. 1000 new ways for me to embarrass myself! Okay, not if you use them properly… Or have enough self-love that you don’t care about the outcome either way, but still, it’s like social etiquette or something. Besides, one of the worst things you can do with someone you’re trying to tie down is make them feel awkward or uncomfortable. Take it from the queen of making everyone feel awkward and uncomfortable.

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Legit – today’s social media is the new drunk text. And I thought I had been so wise as to have mastered this. Let me just say, contact lists and text messaging shouldn’t be the only thing put on block during this vulnerable state. And the key here is VULNERABLE. But we’ll circle back to that.

There are two sides to my brain… Okay, there’s multiple sides to my brain, but right now I’m breaking it down into varsity and junior varsity (experienced and naive).

Being 27 and single, I’ve had tons of experience fucking up, royally fucking up, playing it cool, and everything in between. In my mind, when I first start initiating some kind of interaction with a guy to let him know I might be interested, it would be ideal to pull from my playing it cool to somewhere in between experience. But for some terrifying reason, my JV mind takes over. DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR OWN JV MIND.

As recent as a couple of weekends ago I reached out to a guy who had been completely off my radar, but for whatever reason, he was suddenly on it. (Maybe because his friend was finally off of it). I sent him a message. If you have to send someone a message instead of an iMessage aka text because you don’t have their phone number WARNING, RED BUTTON, HAZZARD, ERROR, STOP. DON’T DO IT! In my JV mind I’m like a little puppy – yeah, yeah this will put me on his radar! Yes, little puppy, ignorant of the world around you – it will put you on his radar, you’re right – AS A COMPLETE AND TOTAL SPAZ.  And it works both ways, men to women, Instagram to Facebook. You don’t want to ask the girl on the couch over from me at the Super Bowl party what her latest social media stalker had to say. And you definitely don’t want to be the one referred to as a stalker on any dating anything.

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So how did my JV message go? Just as I thought it would from my varsity experience –- no response. Just like my ex at the beginning of this post.

What I discovered: my need to reach out in a moment of vulnerability (and you’re feeling this way much stronger because you’re drinking) is for reassurance. And as you can tell, the drunk message does not lead to reassurance. It only leads to more insecurity and upset feelings. And those feelings that you keep avoiding will be brought to the next new guy and next drunk message until you face them. It becomes one whole big mess of negativity. You’ll be so lucky as to if the receiver doesn’t respond because starting something on those terms is just that: messy, negative, and choosing to try to start something off on a sour down note.

Instead, get over your old ghosts first by facing them head on.

I apologize to all of the victims from my drunk messaging and just know, I’m working on turning over that idiotic leaf… But, in my defense, you should be happy a smart/hot girl is hitting on you in the first place! PUH-LEASE.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Don’t waste time on someone who isn’t worth yours
  2. Stay away from any sort of iMessage, text message, social media message when you’re Lindsay Lohan drunk
  3. You want a potential love-interest to see you in a positive light, not a negative one
  4. Drunk messaging makes you vulnerable
  5. DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR OWN JV MIND
  6. If you have to send a social media message instead of a text, don’t message at all!
  7. You don’t want to be known as a social media stalker
  8. There is such a thing as social media etiquette (apparently), and you don’t want to make people feel awkward or uncomfortable
  9. Get over your old ghosts FIRST by facing them head on
  10. Taking all of the above into consideration, flirt on!

Bold. Boss. Beautiful. 

 

Finally a Man that Isn’t Afraid to get Close!

Ah, another Monday! What are we going to do to get through the week? Besides constant coffee breaks, one thing that makes the time fly… MEN. Let’s take a look at my latest MCM.

This Monday my man crush goes out to the six pack rocking star, Nick Jonas. Or is it an eight pack? (If my coworker reads this she’s laughing at me 100% because she knows I keep a shirtless picture of the sizzling Jonas brother in my cubicle for motivation purposes… Obviously).

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Okay, mine isn’t that raunchy! 😉

Although the combination of his body and school boy face are lethal, it’s what’s behind the images in the media that get me going.

First, his intense, seductive voice and sweat forming performance in his music video “Close,” featuring Tove Lo. I know, where was I in early 2016? Like me and missed the memo that this song/video is HOT? I kid you not; you should watch right now. (This will make your Monday go by faster!)

Besides, what woman can’t relate to the feeling that “space is just another word made up by someone who’s afraid to get too close.” AKA every guy I’ve ever crushed on or dated. And every guy my girlfriends have ever crushed on or dated. Damn, how do they manage to keep our attention? In my case, it’s the total intrigue and uniqueness of each individual that I can’t get enough of. And if they happen to rock the Nick Jonas “Close” sweat I’m not going to complain! That’s not totally gross…

FYI it’s a turn on to women to get close. Men: if you’re looking for intimacy stop fucking around. Focus on the one woman that catches your eye and work for it. Good things in life take effort. If you’re looking for random fucks, do us all a favor and stick to Tinder. Stop wasting our time by spitting game to us at the bar. We see right through you. Focus your time on the loosest girl at the bar, not our hot asses, because for the rest of us – ain’t nobody got time for that!

I digress. Second, the man has causes he can stand behind. I won’t lie, I haven’t read too much on it, but I do know as a person living with type 1 diabetes,  he is the creator of the non-profit organization Beyond Type 1, with the mission of spreading knowledge and raising awareness. Nothing sexier than a man with a purpose.

Third, after much practice making YouTube videos with his brothers Kevin and Joe, he knows how to rock the comedy in shows like Scream Queens.

Co-staring with Emma Roberts?! And making the show his own?!

I Don’t even have to ask, “need I say more?”

Key Takeaways:

  1. It’s a turn on to women to get close – mentally and physically
  2. If you’re looking for random fucks stick to Tinder
  3. Have a purpose in life you can get behind
  4. Be a comedic genius

Bold. Boss. Beautiful. 

Life Code: Sisters Before Misters, Bros Before Hoes

This past summer my friend and I went through a pretty painful rift when we liked the same guy. At least we can sigh in relief that, for the most part, who hasn’t been there. Right? We’re only human.

I’m going to keep the nitty gritty details personal out of respect for all parties involved. Let’s just say after some deep personal reflection I’ve owned up to my mistakes throughout the whole ordeal. And as much as it sucked living through it, I learned a lot about myself, my ethics and morals, and the more important things in life. Aka: sisters before misters!

Since the debacle, we’ve realized how silly we were both being over the whole situation and how unworthy this person was of any time on either end.

Fast forward to some much-needed girl time, re-bonding — apologies, tears, dinners, and multiple glasses of wine — our friendship is rekindled in the biggest girl crush of ways. Now, she’s my go-to gal when hating on all of the guys that have done us wrong. Looking back, as weird as it sounds, I believe that time in our life was a blessing in disguise. Getting through a hardship like that… you either make it or break it. I’m proud to report that we made it and it has only made our friendship that much stronger. Looking forward to brunch tomorrow baby! #Mazel.

The one thing we forgot throughout the whole mess? Girl code! Hoes before bros sisters!  

Suffice to say; many women go through this error of judgment (picking a bro before a hoe) at least once in their lives. In our case, we were lucky enough to realize our bond was much more important than the potential of dating some seriously slimy dude. God speed to his current girlfriend!

Today, we’ve formed a new bond over how we function when it comes to men and choosing a SO that respects us and is someone who we actually want to be with.

It took something as ridiculous as a total mess for both of us to realize that we need to pick and choose the right guys who are actually worth our time.

Ladies… It’s time to be cutthroat!

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Gentleman… one wrong move and you’re out! Just kidding. Kind of… A promise to all the men out there: the determining factor of whether you are terminated or not depends on what it was that you did and how much we genuinely like you.

I’ll admit, this post seems totally one-sided (girl power!), but the cause of all the emotional angst on both the sides of men and women tends to be in the lack of proper communication. A topic that is already on my agenda! Stay tuned…

Key Takeaways:

  1. Sisters before misters!
  2. Bros before hoes!
  3. Want to avoid emotional angst? Communication is key. Stay tuned…

Bold. Boss. Beautiful. 

 

MCM — Too Many to Choose From at this Year’s Golden Globes

With the Golden Globes last night there are so many MCMs to choose from.

Jokes aside, as the night went on the theme of the evening grew much deeper and more meaningful than an award show, and I give my deepest gratitude to the beautiful human beings that stand on the stage before us, exposing themselves, and leaving us with their lessons, their lives, and their hearts.

Besides Meryl Streep’s speech, another one for the history books, one of my favorite speeches of the night, and today’s MCM goes out to the talented, intelligent, and creative Donald Glover.

He made me listen and was relatable, talking about things that have always been a struggle to me and I’m sure most people growing up in a society where, although when we’re young, our role models preach that you can achieve anything you want, the reality of the situation is bigger dreams often times seem impossible.

Donald is one of those souls who has made the impossible possible, and is living proof that if you work hard enough to go after your dreams, you can achieve them. The reality is ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE (in the realm of being realistic). But dreams like career aspirations, for example, are absolutely possible. You just have to be strong enough to get out of that impossible mindset. Dreams truly are a beautiful thing.

Glover captivated his audience with his story, “Every time I saw a movie or Disney movies or heard your voices or saw you, I was like, oh, magic is from people. Like, we’re the ones who kind of, in a weird way, tell a story or a lie to children, so they do stuff that we never thought was possible. My dad used to tell me every day like you can do anything you want and I remember thinking like as a kid in first grade like you’re lying to me — but now I do stuff and he’s like I didn’t think that was possible.”

Well, Donald, as we watch you and your show, there is no doubt in our minds that you are bringing that magic you speak of to the world.

And your smile and brain are just as magical – downright sexy bro!

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Not to mention your hysterical dry humor and truthful sarcasm hits the nail on the head every single time.

Keep doing you Earn!

Soo… Can they bring Atlanta back onto FX on demand yet?! Please, and thank you! Needless to say, if you haven’t seen the show yet, I highly recommend it.

Congratulations on your success last night Donald, well deserved!

Key Takeaways:

  1. Meryl Streep is a G
  2. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE (in the realm of being realistic) i.e.) career goals
  3. Brains are sexy
  4. Smiles are sexy
  5. Donald Glover is a G
  6. Go watch Atlanta

Bold. Boss. Beautiful.