I went through a handful of initial drafts trying to figure out how I wanted to come across in the Bold. Boss. Beautiful. breakdown. Funny, political, through a scripted bar-scene? There were a lot of options to choose from. As a serious writer, when we’re struggling to figure out how we want to unveil ourselves to our audiences, I find that the best tool is to strip down all the bullshit and give it straight forward. So here’s the breakdown and the reason behind the content I’m sharing.
Let me bring you back to high school for a moment. I didn’t date. Until the very end of senior year. Even though I’m not crazy about labels (this blog is full of them so fair warning), I’m pretty sure I came off as a fine combination of a goodie-two-shoes/geek without the Mathematics or Science skills. I thought I was pretty enough, but apparently, 14-18-year-old boys didn’t quite pick up on my thinking. And I didn’t have the self-confidence to tell them otherwise. Oh, how the tides have changed.
In college, I somehow managed to land myself in a sorority, and for me, Greek life wasn’t the best way to start what I imagined would be my first relationship when I did eventually try to take the plunge into the dating world.
Fast forward to now, and I am still single AF.
I am a Millennial dating survivor. Seriously.
Today, I see the relationship scene as a pretty dismal place because half of our generation is fascinated by the ease or the thrill of hookup culture. One-quarter has already found a relationship – God bless you all and teach me your ways! – and with the last quarter, we’re still left to weed through our likes and dislikes in someone we’re looking to form… something… with.
What can I say? Through all of this, I stand strong as a toned down hopeless romantic. During the summer I don’t sit in my hammock reading thousands of Nicholas Sparks novels or think that Disney princess fairy tales are real, but I do appreciate random flowers, hand written notes, and a planned picnic over a fancy dinner. Yet somehow, I still fall victim to the hookup culture trap from time to time. It’s hard not to when “everybody’s doing it.” (Literally and figuratively).
When all is Said and Done
So why? Out of everyone venting about such a hot and heavy topic, and in the day of constantly changing social media trends, did I choose to write about dating? Because I can relate to it just as much as the next doomed millennial.
I’ve had my heart broken by the same person twice and years apart — STAY AWAY FROM THAT ONE. I’ve broken a few hearts in my past. And I’ve had some mutual fadeouts/ghosting/bread-crumbing (whatever hip term you want to use) with people I’ve been dating, seeing, hanging out with, Netflix and chilling with — you know the gist.
As you read think of me as a type of semi-dating connoisseur through storytelling. Semi in the fact that I haven’t had anyone stick yet, but what has are situationships, the continuous adventure of date after date, and the lessons I’ve learned as a result. Needless to say, the combination is lethal for anyone who hates reading or dating I.E.) my ex-boyfriend. Or a helping hand for anyone looking to date or relate to in this time of “A Tragedy of Errors” dating.
Dating rule #1? Brains are sexy! And hookup culture sucks for anyone genuinely looking to connect to a person. BOO, YOU WHORE.
-> Speaking of Those Who Hate to Read <-
To be completely honest, I’d love if I could help even one person through my personal experiences. But, let’s be real, there’s a lot of competition out there vying for your attention when it comes to what you pick and choose to read on a daily basis. My goal is to reach as many different people as I can in as many different ways as I can. So, I’ve decided to include a “Key Takeaways” section with as many writes as I can. This way, if you have ADD, hate the idea of reading entire articles on dating, or if you only have enough time to scroll through your phone while your boss’ head is turned, you can still learn a thing or two before your Tinder date tonight.
Men, This one is for You!
Alright, alright this seems pretty girly. I swear I’m not trying to attack you! But I can only go off of my experiences as a woman dating men. I tried for weeks on end to find a way to better include you, but my writes were all rah! rah! single ladies, don’t make my mistakes! SO, in lieu of all of that, for those of you who think you can use this as an educational resource into a woman’s mind, I promise you, your assumption is correct! Who better to teach you about women than a woman herself? Can’t stomach the reads? The “Key Takeaways” section is also for you. Stop complaining that you don’t understand what a woman is thinking — I’M TELLING YOU WHAT WOMEN (generally) THINK RIGHT HERE. No mystery involved. Kiss, kiss.