A funny story to brighten up your Tuesday afternoon – and according to the Instagram accounts I follow, we’ve all done this before… Or at least a good majority have. Luckily, in this instance, I get to blame my mom. On Christmas of all days!
That morning, my mom and I were sitting at the breakfast table catching up on weekly affairs. A.K.A. she was interrogating me about my dating life. My grandma had just gotten off the phone from doing the same. (Nana lives in a nursing home in Florida and conspires with her friends to play matchmaker between grandchildren. No thank you! Every week I remind her that I’m still dating my latest ex and we’re due to marry soon. You’d think she’d get the hint. No such luck.) But, instead of brushing my mom off like I did my grandma, I decided to let her indulge a little bit. It is the holiday season after all. She was asking about my latest crush.
She already knew of him, but wanted to put a face to the name. I was trying to explain to her that this time I was genuinely attracted to his intelligence and personality over his looks. Don’t get me wrong; he’s a handsome guy, but I wouldn’t walk across the bar to talk to him if I didn’t already know him.
Sweet mama wouldn’t take that for an answer, so I pulled up my Instagram and searched for his account. NEVER TRUST A NON-MILLENNIAL WITH YOUR IPHONE. Just don’t do it! I don’t even trust Millennials with my iPhone.
Now my mom is the worst when it comes to technology. She claims she doesn’t know what the play, stop, fast-forward, and rewind buttons are on the remote. Didn’t you used to play VHS’ for us? I’m exposing my age here…
So, in a moment of disinterest, I showed her how to scroll through his pictures. After getting through several images, she turns to me and gets my attention on the screen. “So you can’t enlarge it like you do on Facebook?” I was impressed that she actually knew she could do that. Yay mama! Then my eyes widened as she put her fingers to the screen. Attempting to enlarge the photo with her thumb and index finger she successfully manages to like his picture… From August. COOL.
Moral of the story, do not trust anyone alone on Instagram. Especially your parents. They don’t know the universal Instagram code: be obnoxiously careful scrolling through your crush’s, ex-boyfriend’s, or that girl you hate’s account. You might accidentally like something from six months ago!
I’m still secretly hoping that he didn’t notice the like. Or that he’s flattered I liked a picture of him playing the guitar. YEAH RIGHT. And on Christmas! SMH. I’ll be getting off at the next stop, embarrassment city.
- Don’t want to deal with grandma? Tell her you’re still dating your ex
- NEVER TRUST A NON-MILLENNIAL WITH YOUR IPHONE. Always supervise!
- Don’t trust anyone alone on Instagram, especially your parents
- Be obnoxiously careful scrolling through your crush’s, ex-boyfriend’s, or that girl you hate’s account
Bold. Boss. Beautiful.